We were a small, close-knit group then , 3 girls - Me, Ruifen & JiaYu
One day Ruifen started complaining about JiaYu to me, that JiaYu did something to offend, annoy RuiFen.
'I don't want to friend her anymore.' RuiFen told me, 'Or else,' Her glare is threatening.
I was 9 then, Primary school kiddy. Subsequently, RuiFen decided not to 'friend' me too because I paired up with JiaYu for one of our classes. RuiFen wrote me an angry letter - scrawling all over with a red marker - I HATE YOU AND JIAYU FOREVER.
While I wasn't exactly sure who's fault it was more, and I don't want to play God and make a judgement, I decided to take a neutral stand. Unfortunately, RuiFen took neutral as taking the other side. It left me speechless.
Years later I looked back and realised how silly we were then. If we had been more forgiving of each other, hey, we could still meet up for coffee now.
History decided to repeat itself once more, and this time, I am no longer 9, but 20. Being part of the Gen Y, we are, of course, the IT-savvy. The angry letter came in a form of an sms. It left me speechless again. I did correspond though, I mentioned that I had was entitled to choosing who I wanted to be friends with, which is true, my parents, my boyfriend have no say in my choice of friends, what more others? You may influence me, but not stop me. I do apologise though, for using the word 'choose' because that probably led to the other party thinking that I chose someone else over her.
My stand is simple, it is neutral and I don't wish to take sides.
Who am I to say who was really in the wrong? I wasn't there to witness the entire process, I can't say. I can't judge. I'm in no position to declare who's the sinner. I apologise again, that yes, I did sprout nonsense and make groudless judgements of people and situations I shouldn't have. I should have kept quiet. But in my eagerness to make someone feel better about it, I said many, many, wrong things. I should have thought hard and see if whatever I was gonna say would have an impact on me in near future. I tried to comfort her so hard, because I knew she was having a terrible time tiding thru the crisis. I wanted to help her ease through the difficult times. I wanted her to smile and love life once again. I'm sorry, but in my hastiness, I blabbed a lot. There's no taking back of blab, unfortunately. The Chinese have a saying 'Speak more and you err more' - sometimes it is a good idea to shut that trap.
Maxine, I do not want to take sides. Like you, I value friendship, I need friends to get me by. I know you're hurt, upset, and I can understand why. One of the issues that went through my mind was that our friendship with Khai would be very badly damaged. I loved spending time with both of you (when all was well) , and I hoped secretly that perhaps one day, you would live and forgive. Why can't friendship be repaired? If a love relationship can be repaired, so can friendship. I'm definitely not taking sides, if that's what you're thinking again. But if you don't want to ever mend it, sure, it's your choice. But I think differently, therefore my actions show. If you think Firewire is not going to be affected and involved, I can tell you surely, you're wrong. So can everyone else speak to me? Are you going to terminate their friendship too because they betrayed you by speaking to me? When all of us are present, it will be awkward, well, for everyone benefit, I would try to stay out of mass Firewire outings. I will miss seeing everyone all at once. It is such a warm, comforting feeling when I'm surrounded by them.
It seems to me that you're having an huge reaction that isn't necessary. But that's my opinion. Maybe it's necessary that you never see or speak to me again. I would recommend that you reconsider, but if you insist, I wouldn't stop you. Your choice.
To Firewire, I miss all of you! I'm sorry that this happened, and I suppose I'll be seeing less of you peeps... But we can still meet.. er.. on our own. Won't be joining you guys for graduation lunch at the yummy botak jones... Do have fun though! Do they deliver? I want the fat sausage please! Yes Syaz, Birdy's family is healthy, mickey and I are happy, work is exhausting and I've hardly got time for sleep! (: Thanks for asking though. I'm glad. Oh and I just bought a laptop.. and... 5 more mini birdies.. heh
EEEKS! 12.28 lor!! Oh and did I tell you I love warcraft now?? hehe. Ironic!
